An
Embarrassment of Richies
No Endless Love for singer Lionel Richie. Truly, he is
headed into divorce court again. And it seems his Lady has no
intention of ending up a Penny Lover. (OK, ok, bad usage of song
titles is over.)
Divorces are messy, no denying that. Celebrity partings even more so, as
down and dirty details revealed in court documents are fed to the public by
venues such as the stealthy SmokingGun.com. Infidelities, abuse,
irreconcilable differences - all brought to light. And quite frankly, I
don't care. When you boil it down, any marriage, rich or poor has its own
issues. But after reading the accounting of the Richie's $300,000 monthly
spending habits, I am left asking the singer of Say You, Say Me, Say
What?!? (Sorry, that was too easy.)
$300,000 a month. Let's drop a little perspective on that number, shall
we? 300K can buy three families nice homes in suburban America. That
much money can feed those same families for roughly 25 years. Oh heck,
what fun are those stats? For $300K you can provide a dose of Viagra to
180,000 men or birth control pills for 180,000 women.
But back to the Richies. In court documents file by the Mrs., she states
that "Lionel and I had an extraordinary extravagant lifestyle. We regularly
spent in excess of $300,000 a month. We could comfortably afford to spend
unlimited sums of money on everything and anything we chose. I had no limit on
what I could spend."
Documents go on to reveal her personal monthly upkeep including: $15,000 for
clothing, shoes and accessories, $3,000 for "dermatology" and $1,000
for laser hair removal. I have not spent $15,000 on clothing in my
lifetime. As for "dermatology"? How many pimples can one
face hold, lady? And 1K for hair removal? Buy some Nair.
The 37-year-old mother of two, goes on to list monthly sums of $600 on hair,
$250 on nails, $150 on electrolysis, $450 on facials, $500 for her trainer and
$600 each on Pilates, massages, and therapy. I've seen her and trust
this 37 year old mother of three who spends $12 a month on my hair, paints
my own nails, has nothing on my body that needs scared off by electricity,
washes my face in the sink, uses willpower to get my ass on the treadmill each
day and has Margarita therapy with friends - I LOOK BETTER.
Yearly expenses listed include $20,000 for plastic surgery and $125,000 for
tuition for her son's Colorado boarding school. Monthly visits (she says
she tries to visit that often) cost between $15,000 and $20,000. 20K for
annual surgery? She must be made out of plastic by now. And
while I do not have a problem with costly tuition for college (if one can afford
it), most 9 year old boys thrive at home with constant love from a parental
figure, not a hit or miss visit from a piece of Tupperware.
I will say it certainly sheds some light on the casting of Lionel's daughter
Nicole in the reality show, The Simple Life. Who better than a child
brought up with such a surreality?
Ah well, no doubt when this divorce is finally settled, the price tag will put a
dent in Lionel's wallet. He may not be Dancin' On The Ceiling for a
while, but like any great talent, I'm sure he will rebound and eventually cover
his losses.
Perhaps he can start by licensing "All Night Long" to Viagra.
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